Mount Saint Helens St.

Seven years is not an incredibly long time to live in a house, but it is a substantial stretch of time compared to the houses Jerry and the kids and I lived in together before this one. We moved in just before the end of the kids’ 5th and 6th grade years in 2019. When the pandemic hit, we were grateful for the extra space. The kids had a little virtual school area set up in the den (which is now my home office) and we did a lot of puzzles at the dining room table. I think being stuck at home that year really made us be intentional about the space, and how we wanted our home to feel. Nothing like global pandemic to make you reevaluate your priorities.

Jerry has spent countless hours in the yard, making it a beautiful, usable, outdoor space. I have loved Summer nights eating dinner on the back deck under the stars and string lights, or playing lawn games with our family on the 4th of July. We have a garden with fresh herbs and veggies, and while peony season is short, I have been spoiled to having my favorite flower at my fingertips to toss in a vase. There is also a luxuirous shade garden in the side yard, complete with a beautiful Mary statue that Jerry bought me for Mother’s Day one year. Sometimes I just sit out there in the quiet, listening to the birds.

The kitchen and dining space is the heart of our home. We have always prioritized family dinner, and so many good meals and great conversations have happened at our dining table. Every time the kids had a birthday, we gathered the whole family around them at the table for a birthday portrait. It’s been one of my favorite traditions. The best thing about the house though, is view from our sliding glass door. We’re up on a hill, and our view looks over the neighborhood to the surrounding hills. Almost every night, we’re treated to a stunning sunset that paints the sky and sinks into the hills. Almost nightly, one of us will say “Look at the sky!” The first week we lived here, I dubbed the house “Skyhouse” because it feels like we have a front row seat to the best shows the sky puts on. And on the rare occasion we have a thunderstorm- my back deck is the place to be!

One of so many lovely sunsets we were lucky enough to see from our house on the hill.

This home holds my children’s middle school and teenage heights marked in varying colors of ink on a door frame. It holds hundreds of books that I have read and some I haven’t read yet. It has my cozy ‘couch nest’ and comfortable bed and so much dog hair that even daily vacuuming is not enough. (When they say Golden Retrievers shed a lot, they’re not kidding!) Some things, like the dog and books and the bed will come with us. Other things, like the heights marked in the doorframe and the annual birthday photo around the table with the sun setting in the background- well, those are difficult goodbyes.

My mom recently asked me why I would want to leave such a beautiful home, in a beautiful place, that we have poured out hearts into. Why move across the country away from most of our family and friends and let go of this special place? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really sad about that. It will be incredibly hard to leave this house and even harder to leave the people I love that are staying here. The truth is, Maine has been calling to me my entire life. I have always carried a gut-wrenching homesickness for a place that was only ever partly mine. Everyone knows how beautiful New England is, but it’s much deeper than that for me. Maybe it’s because of all the beautiful childhood memories I made there as with my family. Maybe it’s because it’s the place where I entered adulthood, working to pay for college. Maybe it’s the generations of family members that lived and worked there before me. I can’t explain the deep aching need I have to be in Maine, or why it feels like the place I am most at home in the world. I don’t know why I’m the most creative, relaxed, happiest version of myself when I’m there. I can only say that driving along Long Sands with the windows down feels like breathing deeply after holding my breath for too long.

I didn’t know what to expect when I took Jerry there for the first time, but I saw him take a deep breath of salt air too, and the seed was planted. We’ve had a lot of amazing vacations back East, and Jer loves it almost as much as I do. Actually moving there was his suggestion, and it feels like my life is coming full circle. To be so known and so loved by such a wonderful man, and to have him share a dream I have carried my whole life… well, it feels pretty remarkable. So, we’re moving. We’re doing this thing that has gnawed at me my whole life, because for the first time ever, I have the freedom to do it.

We’re rushing to get the house ready to put on the market, and it’s both exciting and stressful. It’s hard to trust that the timing of selling and buying and moving will work out, but as my mom always said “Don’t borrow trouble.” I am hyper-aware that the time left in this wonderful home is limited, and I am trying to soak it all in… time with friends and family, dinners around our table, those incredible sunsets! I’m full of gratitude for the seven years we had here. Thank you, Skyhouse.